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'Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One' 'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
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16 noviembre

love is...

What is true love? 
Words are cheap. Any man or woman can say "I love you" for various reasons. 
Some for the right reasons, some not so.  

Love
is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. 
When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. 
It is the best of both worlds!

Love
 is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one another's happiness. 

Love
 is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. 

Love
should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. 

Love
is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. 

Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. 

When you realise it is lust, selfishness and self-gratification that dominated the best part of your relationship, get out of it fast. Otherwise, it will get out on you when his ego has it's fill.  

So is yours true love or self-gratification? Is it love or lust? 



Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
It isn't love, it's LIKE

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her/him 
It isn't love, it's LUST

Are you proud, and eager to show her/him off?? 
It isn't love, it's LUCK

Do you want her because you know she's/he's there?? 
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS

Are you with her/him because it's what everyone wants?? 
It isn't love, it?s LOYALTY

Are you with her because she/he kissed you, or held your hand? 
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE

Do you stay for her/him confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her/him? 
It isn't love, it's PITY

Do you belong to her/him because the sight of her/him makes your heart skip a beat?? 
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION

Do you pardon her faults because you care about her/him? 
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP

Do you tell her/him every day she is the only one you think of? 
It isn't love, it's a LIE

Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY



Does your heart ache and break when she's sad? 
Then it's LOVE

Do you cry for her/his pain, even when she's/he's strong? 
Then it's LOVE

Do her/his eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's LOVE

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her/him? 
Then it's LOVE

Do you accept her/his faults because it's a part of who she/he is? 
Then it's LOVE

Are you attracted to others, but stay with her/him faithfully without regret?? 
Then it's LOVE

Would you give her/him your heart, your life, your death?? 
Then it's LOVE


Love is a devotion and action, not an emotion. 
True devotion will always lead to action—true love.
It is not one-sided.
When someone loves you unconditionally, you know you have found true love. 

To summarise:
Love is CARING, FORGIVING, ENERGIZING & SHARING.
29 marzo

lifebook2009

LIFEBOOK 2009

Health:


1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less
food that is manufactured in plants
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2008
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk,
smile


Personality:


11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with
his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate
others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


Community:


25. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.


Life:


32. Do the right things
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.



17 marzo

happy always

 

To My Friends Who Are............NOT SO SINGLE 
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.' It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be. 

 

To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE


Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

 


To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE 
Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if theyaren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways... 

 

To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED 
Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.' Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here.' Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.' Not 'I wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.' 


To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED 
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other. 

To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN 
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.
 


To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE 
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain. 


To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE   

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you. 

 

To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS 
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel. 

 

 

To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON 
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to 

find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not 

'going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now Let go..... 


TO ALL MY FRIENDS....... 

My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature, 

never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish. 

lessons in logic

Lessons in Logic
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.


...........................................................................


I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.


...........................................................................



Practice makes perfect......
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?


...........................................................................



If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?


...........................................................................



Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.


...........................................................................



How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?


...........................................................................



Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.


...........................................................................



One should love animals.
They are so tasty.


...........................................................................



Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.


...........................................................................



Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.


...........................................................................



The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.


...........................................................................



Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.


...........................................................................



Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.


...........................................................................



'Your future depends on your dreams'
So go to sleep

...........................................................................



There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning


...........................................................................



'Hard work never killed anybody'
But why take the risk


...........................................................................



'Work fascinates me'
I can look at it for hours


...........................................................................



God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.


...........................................................................



The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.



...........................................................................


A bus station is where a bus stops..

A train station is where a train stops.


On my desk, I have a work station....

what more can I say........

i love u too

They have been married for two years. He loves literature, and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography, and he handle their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper, and always bullies him. He is a gentleman, and always gives in to her. Today, she's being "willful" again.

Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care; you'll have to do it for her.
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."

Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."

First day.
She "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, and hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence". Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day.
She conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets, and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences." He's nervous now. Night. On the bed. He begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day.
Night. On the Bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."

She remains silent.

Him: "Let's get a divorce."

She did not believe her ears.

Him: "I got to know a girl."

She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him.
But she held it down, wanting to let him finish.
But her eyes already felt wet.
He took a photo out from his chest.
Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: "She's a nice girl."

Her tears fell.

Him: "She has a good personality too."

She's heartbroken, because he puts a photo of some other girl "close to his heart".

Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."

She's very jealous, because she said the same thing in the past.

Him: "She loves me truly."

She wishes to sit up and scream at him: "Don't I?"

Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."

She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.

Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: ".....!"

He brings the photo before her eyes.
She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning mark of a slap on his face.
He sighs.
She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket.
She pulls her hand back under the blanket.
He turns off the light, and sleeps.
She turns on the light, and sits up.
He's asleep.
She lost sleep.
She regrets treating him the way she treated him.
She cried again, and thought about a lot of things.
She wants to wake him up.
She wants to have an intimate talk with him.
She doesn't want to push him anymore.
She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.
She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry, and she wanted to laugh.
It's a nicely taken photo of her. A photo he took for her.
She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.
He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.

i love u,honey

They have been married for a long time. As usual they have their ups and downs. One day they had a big fight over his long working hours and things are falling apart. He was disappointed and she was angry.

After one week of silence treatment from her wife, he approached her with papers and pencils. He suggested that both of them sit down on the dining table and write down on paper what they are not happy about each other. They will then exchange the papers and discuss.

So the wife started to write without looking up because she has a lot to write about her frustration. The husband took a long look at the wife and he too started to write. After fifteen minutes of writing, they look at each other and exchange the papers.

The husband looked at the paper full of complaints. She was angry. When the wife looked at his paper, she was embarrassed and quickly tears away her own paper. On his paper, he wrote for two full pages:

"I love you, honey"

I Asked God

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I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, "No, It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up".

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, "No, her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary".

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, "No, patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is earned".

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, "No, I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you".

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, "No, suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me".

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, "No, you must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful".

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, "No, I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things".

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
God said, "... Ahhhh, finally you have the idea".

DONT'

Don't think that no ones loved you,
because they've turned away.
Don't feel they didn't care for you,
because they couldn't stay.
Don't damn the world for not returning
the love you feel you've given.
Don't hate the one that you were yearning for,
because he couldn't make a commitment.
Just think of him as experience,
and think how much you've grown.
Think of him as the sacred prince
who placed you on a throne.
Think of all your times together,
feeling closer since you're apart.
Think of your plans of now and forever,
and hold them in your heart.
And don't let yourself feel so much hate
when he's no longer your other.
For when you're both at Heaven's gate,
that man will be your brother.

do it today

When I was superintendent of schools in Palo Alto, California, Polly Tyner, the president of our board of trustees, wrote a letter that was printed in the Palo Alto Times. Polly's son, Jim, had great difficulty in school. He was classified as educationally handicapped and required a great deal of patience on the part of his parents and teachers. But Jim was a happy kid with a great smile that lit up the room. His parents acknowledged his academic difficulties, but always tried to help him see his strengths so that he could walk with pride. Shortly after Jim finished high school, he was killed in a motorcycle accident. After his death, his mother submitted this letter to the newspaper.

Today we buried our 20-year-old son. He was killed instantly in a motorcycle accident on Friday night. How I wish I had known when I talked to him last that it would be the last time. If I had only known I would have said, "Jim, I love you and I'm so very proud of you."

I would have taken the time to count the many blessings he brought to the lives of the many who loved him. I would have taken time to appreciate his beautiful smile, the sound of his laughter, his genuine love of people.

When you put all the good attributes on the scale and you try to balance all the irritating traits such as the radio which was always too loud, the haircut that wasn't to our liking, the dirty socks under the bed, etc., the irritations don't amount to much.

I won't get another chance to tell my son all I would have wanted him to hear, but, other parents, you do have a chance. Tell your young people what you would want them to hear if you knew it would be your last conversation. The last time I talked to Jim was the day he died. He called me to say, "Hi, Mom! I just called to say I love you. Got to go to work. Bye." He gave me something to treasure forever.

If there is any purpose at all to Jim's death, maybe it is to make others appreciate more of life and to have people, especially families, take the time to let each other know just how much we care.

You may never have another chance. Do it today!

Control of Your Heart

A wise and understanding heart does not repay a hurt with a hurt. In doing so, the heart is diminished. Fissures form. Love leaks out. Every pain given in return for one received, changes the contents of the heart. It is no longer defined by love, wisdom and understanding. It is redefined by the bearers of hurt and hate, pain and prejudice, meanness and madness, sorrow and sadness. You give away control of your very own heart.

The despair of being hurt is healed by overcoming it, not clinging to the hurt and inflicting more of it on the world. When darkness is added to darkness, no one can see, no one can love. Everyone loses.

Love is not always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it's the integrity we hold on to when we're tempted to strike back. Sometimes it's the honor that keeps us from exchanging the valuable contents of our heart for the harsh satisfaction of lashing back.

No, the way of love is not always easy, but when night falls, dawn is assured.

The integrity and honor of a wise and understanding heart, rises with the sun of a new day.

"Because you have asked for understanding to discern judgment. I have given you a wise and understanding heart." 1 Kings 3:11-12

Living in love and loving life,

Celebration of Life

On my way home from coaching basketball yesterday, I was listening to WGN; my favorite talk radio station out of Chicago. I could tell right away that there was something wrong by the somber mood of the speaker. There had been a plane crash. Two small planes collided into each other over a northern suburb of Chicago. What made the story hit close to home was that Bob Collins, the morning show man for WGN, was the pilot of one of the planes and had been killed. (I'm sure that many readers have tuned in "Uncle Bobby" on their car radios in the Midwest.) Later that night, as I made my 40 minute drive to my third shift job, I listened as the station reminisced and paid tribute to a man who was loved by many. They told story after story, describing him as the ultimate friend, and a man who had lived life to the fullest. Genuine love and affection poured in from all over the country. The more I listened about how this man had influenced those around him, the more discouraged I became.

Why you ask?

I was discouraged because I wanted to know why we as a culture, wait until somebody has passed away before we tell them how much we love them? Why do we wait until someone's ears can't hear before we let them how much they mean to us? Why do we wait until it is too late before we recall the good qualities of a person? Why do we build someone up after they have gone into eternity? What good does it do then! We share memory after memory, as we laugh, cry, and think back about what was positive in a person's life. Yes, it does help us cope with the grief of losing someone that was special to us. And yes it does bring those who are coping, closer together. But as we lovingly remember this person, our words fall short of the ears that most needed to hear them.

Just once I would like to see a celebration of life, instead of a gathering of death. A celebration where stories are told, eyes mist over, laughter rings out; and as the speaker concludes his or her loving tribute, the person they are honoring rises from their chair and gives them the biggest bear hug! Wouldn't that be something! The special person gets to hear the stories and come to the realization that they have made a difference on this earth. And all this is done well before they leave their earthly bodies and go into eternity. And when the inevitable funeral finally comes, we can say good bye with the knowledge that they knew exactly how people felt about them while they were here on earth.

I now have a stronger resolve to tell those around me how much they mean to me. I am going to let my wife know just how loved and appreciated she is, not only by my words, but also by my actions. I am going to play Batman with my four year old more often, and in the middle of our romping, I am going to grab him, hug him tightly, and tell him how thankful I am that he is my son. I am going to sneak into my sleeping toddler's bedroom, place my lips on his chubby cheek, and thank God for the bundle of joy he has brought into my life. Each day I will make a point to tell both of my boys how much I love them, whether they are four or eighteen! From there, I am going to let family and friends know the tremendous impact they have had on my life. And last but not least, I am going to let the high school players I coach know that I look forward to each and every minute that I get to spend with them in the gym.

Do you love someone? Then tell them! Has someone been an influence in your life? Then give them a call! Has someone made a difference in your life? Then write them a letter or send them an email! Don't let another day go by without letting that person know. There is something special about a written letter that expresses feelings of love towards another. I don't know about you, but I have letters and cards from people that I have saved for years, and from time to time, I get them out and reread them. They can turn a depressing day into one where you realize just how blessed and loved you are.

Life is too short to leave kind words unsaid. The words you say, or the letter you write, might just make all the difference in the world.

Can You Ever Love Me for Me?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that I am true and true
Can you love me with my imperfections?
Can you see me as I am and not as what you want me to be?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that makes mistakes and speaks without thinking
Can you love me even when I am unreasonable?
Can you see me as I am and not for the Angel you seek?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that cries when a stranger child is hurt
Can you love me when I am sad without me having a reason to be?
Can you see me as I am not as what I once was?

Can you ever love me for me?

begger king

Once there was a time, according to legend, when Ireland was ruled by a king who had no son. The king sent out his couriers to post notices in all the towns of his realm. The notices advised that every qualified young man should apply for an interview with the king as a possible successor to the throne. However, all such candidates must have these two qualifications: They must (1) love God and (2) love their fellow human beings.

The Young man about whom this legend centers saw a notice and reflected that he loved God and, also, his neighbors. One thing stopped him, he was so poor that he had no clothes that would be presentable in the sight of the king. Nor did he have the funds to buy provisions for the long journey to the castle. So the young man begged here, and borrowed there, finally managing to scrounge enough money for the appropriate clothes and the necessary supplies.

Properly attired and well-suited, the young man set out on his quest, and had almost completed the journey when he came upon a poor beggar by the side of the road. The beggar sat trembling, clad only in tattered rags. His extended arms pleaded for help. His weak voice croaked, "I'm hungry and cold. Please help me... please?"

The young man was so moved by this beggar's need that he immediately stripped off his new clothes and put on the tattered threads of the beggar. Without a second thought he gave the beggar all his provision as well. Then, somewhat hesitantly, he continued his journey to the castle dressed in the rags of the beggar, lacking provisions for his return trek home. Upon his arrival at the castle, a king's attendant showed him in to the great hall. After a brief respite to clean off the journey's grime, he was finally admitted to the throne room of the king.

The young man bowed low before his majesty. When he raised his eyes, he gaped in astonishment. "You... it's you! You're the beggar by the side of the road."

"Yes," the king replied with a twinkle, "I was that beggar."

"But...bu...bu... you are not really a beggar. You are the king for real. Well, then, why did you do this to me?" the young man stammered after gaining more of his composure.

"Because I had to find out if you genuinely love God and your fellow human beings," said the king. "I knew that if I came to you as king, you would have been impressed by my gem-encrusted golden crown and my royal robes. You would have done anything I asked of you because of my regal character. But that way I would never have known what is truly in your heart. So I used a ruse. I came to you as a beggar with no claims on you except for the love in your hear. And I discovered that you sincerely do love God and your fellow human beings. You will be my successor," promised the king. "You will inherit my kingdom."

09 marzo

being enterprising

An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An enterprising person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life.

To be enterprising is to keep your eyes open and your mind active. It's to be skilled enough, confident enough, creative enough and disciplined enough to seize opportunities that present themselves…regardless of the economy.

A person with an enterprising attitude says, "Find out what you can before action is taken." Do your homework. Do the research. Be prepared. Be resourceful. Do all you can in preparation of what's to come.

Enterprising people always see the future in the present. Enterprising people always find a way to take advantage of a situation, not be burdened by it. And enterprising people aren't lazy. They don't wait for opportunities to come to them, they go after the opportunities. Enterprise means always finding a way to keep yourself actively working toward your ambition.

Enterprise is two things. The first is creativity. You need creativity to see what's out there and to shape it to your advantage. You need creativity to look at the world a little differently. You need creativity to take a different approach, to be different.

What goes hand-in-hand with the creativity of enterprise is the second requirement: the courage to be creative. You need courage to see things differently, courage to go against the crowd, courage to take a different approach, courage to stand alone if you have to, courage to choose activity over inactivity.

And lastly, being enterprising doesn't just relate to the ability to make money. Being enterprising also means feeling good enough about yourself, having enough self worth to want to seek advantages and opportunities that will make a difference in your future. And by doing so you will increase your confidence, your courage, your creativity and your self-worth—your enterprising nature.

Don’t Argue—Discuss!

Discussions can be healthy, since they have the potential to build relationships and result in a "win" for everyone. On the other hand, arguments are rarely good. Why? They are forceful attempts to change another person’s point of view, and thus result in a "winner" and a"loser."

Arguments always cause some damage, even if you "win." The next time you find yourself involved in a conflict of opinion, use these guidelines to make it a DISCUSSION—resolving the issue while building the relationship.

  • Welcome the Disagreement. The other person may have a perspective you haven’t considered, so be thankful for it. Maybe this is your chance to be corrected before making a mistake.

  • Distrust Your First Inclination to Defend Yourself. Defensiveness is often a natural reaction. But be careful—when you justify yourself, it’s hard to change your position later. Plus, you’ll miss the benefit of the other person’s ideas.

  • Control Your Temper. Getting angry always makes communication harder, not easier. So simmer down before you blow your top.

  • Listen First. Give your "opponent" a chance to talk. Don’t defend or debate. Build bridges of understanding, not barriers of misunderstanding.

  • Look for Areas of Agreement. Dwell on areas where you agree. This establishes common ground, helping you find a solution good for both of you.

  • Be Honest. Look for areas where you can admit error, then do it. This disarms others and reduces their defensiveness.

  • Promise to Think Over Their Ideas. Tell the person that you will consider his point of view, and actually do it. He may be right, after all.

  • Thank Them Sincerely for Their Desire to Help. Most people who take time to disagree with you are interested in positive results, the same as you are. Welcome that.

  • Postpone Action So You Both Can Think Through the Problem. If need be, suggest another meeting. To prepare, ask yourself some hard questions about your "side," and focus on a mutually beneficial solution.

  • Be Willing to Agree to Disagree. Sometimes you may need to accept your difference of opinion and move on. Be flexible whenever possible. Follow Thomas Jefferson’s advice: "In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current."
08 marzo

basic rules for making good decisions

  1. If I'm really tired, I don't make significant decisions (except in emergencies).

  2. If someone is pressing me to decide something "right now," unless an immediate decision is critical, I say, "If I have to decide now, the answer is no. After I have had a chance to catch my breath and review the facts, there's the possibility it could be yes." Then I put the ball back in his or her court and ask, "Do you want my decision now, or should we wait?"

  3. I like to determine the maximum benefit of a decision, assuming that everything goes my way. Then I ask, "Suppose nothing goes my way? Suppose this doesn't develop and materialize as I expect it to? What is my maximum exposure? What would I lose?"

  4. For significant business-related decisions, I run them past my advisors. These people are successful in their businesses and professions and have a considerable amount of knowledge, experience, and wisdom, all of which are musts in the decision-making process. I get their advice and follow their recommendations, with good results in most cases. If the decision is too minor to involve my advisors but I still want input, I get my family together to look at the pros and cons.

  5. I like to pray about my decisions. I ask God to help me see the truth of my motives and to lead me in the way I should go. If I'm about to make an unwise decision, I simply don't have peace about that decision, and I consequently act on that feeling of unease. I ask myself, "How will this decision affect all the areas of my life—personal, family, career, financial, physical, mental and spiritual?" Obviously, not all decisions affect all areas, but if the decision involves a financial reward but also carries considerable family sacrifice, for example, I think carefully as to whether what I give up is compensated for by what I gain.

One final note: Prioritize your decisions. Some are more urgent than others!

attitude is everything

The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential. We all desire good results from our efforts. Most of us are willing to work hard and to pay the price that success and happiness demand.

Each of us has the ability to put our unique human potential into action and to acquire a desired result. But the one thing that determines the level of our potential, that produces the intensity of our activity, and that predicts the quality of the result we receive is our attitude.

Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with new challenges. No other person on earth has dominion over our attitude. People can affect our attitude by teaching us poor thinking habits or unintentionally misinforming us or providing us with negative sources of influence, but no one can control our attitude unless we voluntarily surrender that control.

No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile, angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.

If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future.

If we want to receive the rewards the future holds in trust for us, then we must exercise the most important choice given to us as members of the human race by maintaining total dominion over our attitude. Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Beware of the vandals and thieves among us who would injure our positive attitude or seek to steal it away.

Having the right attitude is one of the basics that success requires. The combination of a sound personal philosophy and a positive attitude about ourselves and the world around us gives us an inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence.

30 Qualities for Success

Honesty, Humor, Friendliness, Confidence,
Integrity, Persistence, Humility, Goal Setter,
Decisive, Hard Worker, Learner,
Positive Mental Attitude, Compassionate,
Disciplined, Dedicated, Faithful,
Dependable, Knowledgeable, Communicator,
Loving, Enthusiastic, Motivated, Patient,
Loyal, Organized, Good Listener,
Empathetic, Self-Respect,
Common Sense, and Character.

Go ahead now.
Look yourself in the mirror
and claim these qualities!
Do it for several weeks
and you’ll notice a change in your life.

12 elements that make great service possible

There are 12 elements that make great service possible. None of which have ever been taught in school.
  1. Establishing and maintaining a positive attitude;

  2. Establishing and achieving goals;

  3. Understanding yourself, your co-workers and your customer;

  4. Having pride in yourself, your company and what you do;

  5. Taking responsibility for your actions, what happens to you, and the success of your company;

  6. Listening with the intent to understand;

  7. Communicating to be understood;

  8. Embracing change as a natural progression of things and of life;

  9. Establishing, building and maintaining relationships;

  10. Gaining the ability to make effective decisions (which means taking risks);

  11. Learning to serve others in a memorable way, and,

  12. Working as a team to make everyone more productive.

In order to serve—you must be prepared to serve. How important are each of these subjects in your success? Have you ever taken a course in any of these subjects?

autograph your career and your life with excellence

In 1644, a child was born. He lived to be 93 at a time in history when the average life span was but 35 to 40. He taught himself his trade and began his career. He often worked alone with primitive tools, but his focus every day was to put the best he had into his work. The man made violins. He labored over each and every process and step to ensure that he had "autographed" them with excellence and the best that was in him. He created his own personal standard of excellence for his craft, and he actually signed his name on each instrument that passed the test.

Today, some three hundred years later, the name of this craftsman who was committed to excellence is the benchmark for the best in musical instruments. His name? Antonio Stradivari! His Stradivarius violins sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars because they are the best.

When Stradivari labored, he did not know of the legacy he was creating. He was doing his best, day in and day out, to reach his standard of excellence. He didn’t spend the extra time and care to get the accolades of upper management or to be the top producer in the company. He did it because excellence was part of his focus, mission, and obsession.

It is easy to do world-class work when a boss is looking or a supervisor is around. But the test is in what you do when no one is looking. High achievers have developed the ability to stay focused when no one else is around. Does your quality or performance fluctuate based on who is in the office or which customer you are serving? Excellence is not something that you can just turn on and off whenever you feel you need it. It is a habit rooted in your attitude about your life and career.

Are you just going through the motions day to day, or are you creating a masterpiece? Autographs are valuable because they are rare and are tied to excellent performance. In today’s world, superior effort and service are becoming endangered species. Is the autograph you place on your work and service each day a Stradivarius or a Michael Jordan or a Tiger Woods? Or is it unknown, with little value? Autograph your career and your life with excellence.

Having a firm commitment to excellence, like Stradivari, has an amazing effect on your achievement motivation. When people who are simply going through the motions or who are just working for a paycheck hit a challenge or obstacle, they often run to their boss and get him or her to do it, or they procrastinate by getting a cup of coffee or shuffling the papers on their desk. On the other hand, when individuals who are committed to excellence hit a similar challenge, they immediately bounce back with energy, and they are actually exhilarated by the chance to stretch themselves to overcome the problem. A commitment to excellence will create focus, and focus will assist you in maintaining your positive motivation and in creating a balanced life.
 

top ten ways to support someone in being their best

One of the greatest responsibilities we have is to support ourselves and others in living at our highest and best. Whether we’re parents, partners, friends or leaders, it’s incumbent upon us to help others to live as close to their unique potential as we can.

With everything we say and do, we’re influencing, positively or negatively, the people we care about. The ideal is to do this with consideration and intention. Here are ten ways you can help others see and realize the best that’s within them.

  1. Believe in Them: We all have self-doubts from time to time. Our confidence is shaken. We lack the faith in our talents and skills to go for an important promotion or launch a new initiative. Having someone believe in you at these times is priceless. The stories of great men and women are saturated with examples of someone who believed in them even when they didn’t fully believe in themselves.

  2. Encourage Them: "You can do it. I know you can." These are words that are all-too-infrequently voiced. Sincere encouragement can go a long way in helping someone stay the course. The more specific you are, the better the results. "I remember when you got through your slump last year and ended up winning the sales contest. I’m willing to bet that you’ll do even better this time."

  3. Expect a Lot: We’re often told not to get our hopes up. We’re encouraged to have realistic expectations. But when it comes to helping others operate at their best, we sometimes have to up-level our expectations. This can be taken to extremes, but there are many times when a teacher, a parent or even a boss has required more of us than we thought we were capable. And we’ve risen to the challenge which enabled us to see further than before.

  4. Tell the Truth: And tell it with compassion. We often avoid telling the hard truth because we don’t want to upset anyone. We want to be nice. But telling the truth is a loving act. You may be the only person who can or will say to another what needs to be said. And you can confront someone without being combative.

  5. Be a Role Model: One of the best ways we influence is by our own actions. Who we are speaks much more loudly than what we say. Don’t think that people aren’t watching you. They are. And they’re registering everything about you consciously and unconsciously. We automatically emulate our role models. And we’re all role models to someone so let’s be good ones.

  6. Share Yourself: Too often, we miss the value of sharing our failings. We don’t want to be vulnerable so we hold back. In doing so, we deprive others of our experience, our learning and our humanity. When you share from your own experience, especially your failures, you increase empathy, you’re more approachable and you increase your relatability to others.

  7. Challenge Them: The word "challenge" has some negative connotations. The meaning we’re using here is, "a test of one’s abilities or resources in a demanding but stimulating undertaking." We all need to be challenged from time to time. Doing it for another is an art form. Go too far and it will backfire. Go too easy and you will appear patronizing. Remind people of their commitment to being their best and state your challenge. "I challenge you to overcome these unimportant opinions and get on with the real task at hand, get the job done, make the commitment, etc."

  8. Ask Good Questions: A good therapist or coach doesn’t tell their clients what to do. They ask good questions in order for the client to understand themselves better, to get clear on what the issue is and from there to make good choices. You can do the same. By asking elegant questions, you cause people to think and come up with solutions. They’ll appreciate it.

  9. Acknowledge Them: You find what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for the best in someone, you’ll see it. If you’re looking for their failings, you’ll see those. Catch people doing things right and tell them. When we acknowledge the good deeds of others, they tend to do more of them. Write a note. Send a card. Give them a call. Praise them in front of others.

  10. Spend Time With Them: We love what we give our time to. By devoting your most precious resource (time) to another individual, you’re showing them that you truly value them and your relationship with them. Invest time in your relationships; it’s what life is made of.

 

ten pathways to positive speech

Gossip may be defined as any form of communication that harms another. It can ruin lives, assassinate reputations, split families, alienate friends and destroy businesses.

    On the other hand, a gossip-free environment leads to peaceful lives, healthier relationships, and overall prosperity.

    Yes, the gift of speech is a marvelous one, depending upon how it is used. Would you like your words to soothe instead of sting? Heal instead of hurt? And build instead of burn? Following these ten pathways will help:

  1. Speak No Evil. Say only positive statements. Let words of kindness be on your tongue. This means to respond instead of react. And, even, to edit your speech before you speak.

  2. Hear No Evil. Refuse to listen to gossip, slander and other negative forms of speech. Hint: If avoiding the conversation is impossible, have another topic of "positive" interest you can quickly bring up in order to change the subject.

  3. Don't Rationalize Destructive Speech. Excuses like "But it's true" or "I'm only joking" or "I can tell my spouse anything" just don't cut it. Gossip is gossip, anyway you cut it. Besides, the fact that it is true is what qualifies it as gossip. If it were not true, it would be libel or slander.

  4. See No Evil. Judge people favorably, the way you would want them to judge you. If you've ever been accused of doing something for which you know you were innocent, then you know how it feels to be misjudged. Remember, if you weren't there, you don't know. And, even if you were, you may have missed what actually happened in context.

  5. Beware of Speaking Evil Without Saying An Evil Word. Body language, and even positive speech, can bring tremendous destruction. Yes, telling someone you know takes advantage of others' kindness that a particular person will give you "the shirt off his back," although it seems like positive speech, is not an act of kindness.

  6. Be Humble; Avoid Arrogance. These will be your greatest weapons against destructive speech. As Rabbi Noah Weinberg teaches, "Take pleasure in your accomplishments, not pride." This way you recognize the Ultimate Source of your accomplishments. And those who are arrogant are so filled with themselves, there is no room for their Creator in their lives.

  7. Beware Of Repeating Information. Loose lips sink ships. Even positive information needs permission before being repeated. Telling someone who's out of a job that your mutual friend, Julie, got a raise, does not constitute proper speech.

  8. Honesty Really Is The Best Policy—Most of the Time. Be careful to always tell the truth unless it will hurt others, break your own privacy or publicize your accomplishments. Strive for honesty in everything you do. But if it's between honesty and unnecessarily hurting another's feelings, it's better not to be so truthful. Those who boast about being "brutally honest" are usually more brutal than honest.

  9. Learn to Say, "I'm Sorry." Everyone makes mistakes. If you've spoken badly about someone, clear it up immediately. It might be embarrassing, but get it over with quickly. Apologize, ask for forgiveness, and let him or her know it won't happen again.

  10. Forgive. If you have been wronged, let it go. Forgive for your sake, if not for theirs. Those who can forgive live healthier, happier, and less stressful lives. Those who say they'll forgive but not forget are actually saying that they'll neither forgive nor forget.

    Try this for the next month. The good news is, if you slip up now and then, it only means you are human. Try again. I congratulate you simply for making the effort.

 

eight ethical vaues as hallmarks of a virtuous organization

 
  • Responsibility of Purpose. "The starting point for any organization must be a purpose and a set of goals that reflect the organization's obligation to serve the larger community."

  • Responsibility to Constituencies. "A responsible organization, like a responsible individual, will be concerned about the impact of its behavior on others."

  • Honesty. "Honesty requires the avoidance of deception and careless misrepresentation of information on which others may rely."

  • Reliability. "Reliability implies fidelity to promises and other commitments. Competence and quality are subcategories of reliability."

  • Fairness. "In its most general sense, fairness requires an equitable distribution of burdens and benefits."

  • Integrity. "Employees at all levels, but especially managers and executives should not subject themselves to improper influences or conflicts of interest that may undermine their ability to exercise independent, unbiased judgment. Loyalty in carrying out the duties of a job is an important aspect of integrity."

  • Respect for the Individual. "Respect for the individual requires fairness, honesty, reliability, and many of the other virtues already discussed. Beyond that, however, it involves recognition that individuals participate in valuable relationships outside the firm, as well as respect for individual autonomy and privacy."

  • Respect for Property. "Respect for property requires recognition of the proprietary rights of others and the exercise of care in handling assets of all types—tangible property, patents and proprietary processes, confidential information, and real estate."
     

  • 10 Ways to Have a Better Day Today

    1. Wake up 30 Minutes Early.
      Get up 30 minutes before the alarm goes off and take the first half hour for yourself. Once you get busy and into the day there never seems to be the time for yourself. Take this time to plan getting the most from the day.

    2. Read, Listen, or Watch Something Uplifting.
      Make this a daily habit. Get out of starting the day with no mental food. A great day does not begin with the news or the paper, it begins with ideas or energy that will propel you through the day. What you first hear will stay with you throughout the day.

    3. Eat a Good Breakfast to Start You Off Right.
      Get something good into your body to wake it up and get it going. Think about the energy you will need to perform. Everyday we run a marathon. What would you need to eat and drink to win it.

    4. Choose Your Winning Attitude.
      There is enough to go wrong without sabotaging yourself. Your attitude is a choice you make. Don't let it come between you and your success. Be careful to keep it positive all day long.

    5. Be Aware of What They are Telling You.
      The people around us have a profound effect on how we get through life. Our closest friends and family are our greatest environmental influences. Make sure you have the best advisors you can find.

    6. Make the Most of What You Do.
      When you get to your work, make it the best place to be. Most people go to work and never think about work while they are there. Focus on your contribution. What would it be like if you were not around. Strive to give a 100% each and every day.

    7. Always Remember that People are Listening.
      Make a point of talking well of others. Wish others the best in life. What goes around does come around. Don't talk negative about anyone. Try to understand their circumstances Practice being a support system to your friends and family. They need you.

    8. Be Honest and Fair to Others.
      It does make a difference. What you give to others is usually what you get from others. Practice integrity that people can see and feel. Be aware of what you say. Learn to walk your talk at all times. The more people trust you, the more of their time they will trust with you.

    9. Pace Your Energy to Last All Day.
      Be careful of bursts of energy. Pace your energy throughout the day. If you get to crazy early in the day, you will reach a point of exhaustion before the day is over. By planning your entire day before you begin, you will have what you need. You've heard the old saying "look alive."

    10. Get in Bed Early and Study for the Future.
      I have a friend who keeps a journal at his bedside. Every night he writes what he learned new on that day. The only way to keep one step above the masses is to learn new ways to do things. Develop the habit of reading a work or personal development book before you go to sleep. Reading for 30 minutes a day is like a year of college. You can't succeed if you don't read. Remember throughout your day that life is what we make it, day by day. Practice having the best day ever. It adds up to a great life.

     

    quote of life 2

    Seeds of Good Decisions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Steve Goodier, Life Support System

        "A whole and healthy life–a life of character–is cultivated on the inside. It has little to do with outward appearances, or even reputations. It’s an inside job! It is groomed from within. It grows from seeds of good decisions. Like always choosing to do the right thing, even when you’re alone. Or standing up for what is good and decent, even if you run the risk of criticism.

        A life of character is sometimes difficult to grow. But what else can you accomplish as worthwhile.

        Nurture your life on the inside and you’ll never be disappointed with the fruit it bears."


    Hold a Torch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ben Sweetland

    "We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own."


    Seasons of Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jim Rohn, p. 65

        "Choose action, not rest. Choose truth, not fantasy. Choose a smile, not a frown. Choose love, not animosity. Choose the good in life in all things, and choose the opportunity as well as the chance to work when springtime smiles on your life.

        Much of the effort and opportunity of springtime rests in the depth and degree of our faith. Life provides no assurance that the planting of seeds will provide the reaping of crops. We have only the demonstrated experiences of others to draw upon. The storms of life could cancel our efforts expended in the fields of opportunity. But to expend no effort during the spring will assure no results during the fall."

     



    Things That Matter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dr. Martin L. King, Jr.

    "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter."


    Don’t Be Average . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jan Ruhe, Your Success Store

        "I will do today what others will not, so that I will have tomorrow what others have not.…Feed your mind. Be the best you can be, go for greatness and ignite your passion. As I say to you now and always, don’t be average, be a champion."


    Schoolin` and Learnin` . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Voicings Publ.

        Business students at a large university were assigned the task of interviewing a cross-section of the local community and submit a report on the experience.

        One student was less than enthusiastic about the assignment. "I considered it to be a complete waste of time," he said, "until I asked a farmer in his late 70s, ‘How much education have you had?’ He answered, ‘Well, I had six years of schoolin` and seventy-two years of learnin`.’"

        Schoolin`and learnin` (acquiring knowledge and acquiring wisdom) are not the same. In our present day society, we seem to have little or no time in our busy schedules for practicing the pursuit of wisdom through serious, uninterrupted, quiet reflection on the mystery of life: who we are and what we ought to be doing with our lives. We are crippled in our search for wisdom by a society which insists on describing success as the ability to acquire knowledge and to skillfully apply that knowledge to the pursuit of personal gain.

        …As we acquire knowledge at breakneck speed, are we wise enough to realize the need to slow down, and seriously reflect on how to handle it? Are we wise enough to know what to do with it? Are we wise enough to use it to uplift the human spirit and to better our human relationships? Are we wise enough to apply our learnin` to our schoolin`?


    Law of the Garbage Truck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . David J. Pollay

        A man hopped in a taxi, and took off for the airport. They were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of the taxi. The taxi driver slammed on the brakes, the car skidded, tires squealed, and at the very last moment the car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.…The driver of the other car…whipped his head around and he started yelling words…

        The taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, he was friendly. So, the passenger asked, "Why did you just do that!? This guy could have killed us!" And this is when the taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck™." He explained: "Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.…"

        So I started thinking, how often do I let garbage trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street? The bottom line is, "Don’t let garbage trucks ruin your day."

     

    michelle c

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